What’s the first thing you think of when we say, “boundaries”?
Most people will answer that a boundary means saying no.
However, boundaries are also the everyday choices and decisions that you make. The choices are based on what you want your life to look and be like.
Boundaries are so much more than just saying, “No.” They are about what and who you want in your life. They help create a framework for what you say yes to in your life.
In other words, boundaries are so critical to our lifestyle, our self-confidence, and what we want in life.
If you’re going to create a life you love, then knowing who you are and what you want helps you create the life you want. It helps you shape your boundaries.
Why are we bad at setting them?
Mostly, we are not taught boundaries. We go with the flow in our childhood and women are taught to be compliant, people-pleasing, accommodating, and “nice”. Plus, during the holidays, we’re surrounded by family – family that we have a history with. It is easy to go back to the old coping and survival methods.
How do you start setting boundaries?
It is a learning curve. A growth process over time.
The best starting point is to ask:
- What do I want in my life?
- How do I want my life to be?
- What do I want my holidays to look like?
- What do I want and need?
Then you have to follow through with your boundaries. Express yourself and say this is what I want. During the holidays, this means if you show up as the adult that you are, bring out that voice!
Creating boundaries is about creating your own happiness, creating your own life that you want. And it is okay. It is okay to leave early on Thanksgiving!
It is okay to create your own life. It is not selfish. Everyone wins if we’re honest and speak the truth. Healthy boundaries come from speaking clearly, honestly, and with consideration.
Every time you practice your boundaries and speak up, you are changing your brain. It becomes a way of life. If we can’t have a voice and speak for ourselves, then we don’t have self-esteem or confidence.
Want to know more about how you can ignite your confidence and have the passion to create the life and boundaries you want? Watch my free masterclass, The 5 Secrets My Savvy Women Clients Use to Become Authentic and Confident, Deeply Loved and Successful in ALL Areas Of Their Lives.
*video used by permission from the Kathie J Show.